My Beef With LOL vs. non-LOL'ers

I'm a fairly confident person and, as such, have no problem doing
something that may be considered "dorky" or "out of the ordinary"as
long as it makes me happy. For example, I own a blue colored Chicago
Bears replica football jersey with my last name, and the number "0" on
the back instead of one of the Bears actual players. Some guys in the
NFL community (and sports communities in general) consider this a
no-no (See: Bill Simmons "The Sports Guy", Page 2 ESPN Funny
Guy/Blogger/Writer/Fellow Geek).

My reasoning for going with my surname instead of someone else's: 1)
I don't really have a favorite player on the team, so why commit
myself to a guy that's not even my favorite? 2) Odds are, whichever
player's jersey I decide to purchase, that player will end up on a
different team at the end of his current contract (See: My #8 Rex
Grossman jersey). 3) What if I pick Robbie Gould's jersey, and he's
convicted of manslaughter 2 weeks later? Do I really want to be
wearing the jersey of a murderer? Sorry to digress...

So even to the most casual of observers, it would seem I make well
informed, and well thought out decisions, but don't ask my wife about
that, OH BOY!!! Sorry, terrible married joke. Anyways, what's with
people that OVERuse "LOL" when e-mailing/texting/IM'ing? It seems to
be generation Y or whatever this latest rung of teeny-boppers is
considered. "I needz 2 go 2 the store lol What are u doing 2nite lol
I need herpes ointment for my 89 year old grandmother lol Seriously."
Last time I checked, LOL means Laugh Out Loud and does not take the
place of punctuations such as periods or exclamation points. It's
these freakin' LOL-overusin' youngn's that lead to perfectly normal
people to shy away from the correct use of LOL, like my wife.

Here's where my decision-making process comes in. I thought about
never using LOL again mainly to distance myself from those Gen Y, Z,
i, whatever they're called, kids. Then I thought harder (I had a lot
of down-time in college) and realized if I use it sparingly, ONLY when
I actually LAUGH OUT LOUD, then there's no reason to be afraid! My
wife vows never to use LOL when emailing me with the rationale I just
mentioned. She would rather take the time to type out "oh my goodness
gracious, you may very well have made a joke funny enough to actually
make me emit a joyful noise, coupled with a smile! I believe you just
made me laugh here at my desk! By golly you did!" When she could
have just said "oh LOL! LOL! Nice!"

Oh sure, you say, that will save a good 10 seconds per day, but who
cares? Well I've been carefully crafting my humor to effectively mesh
with my wife's for almost 12 years now, and I believe I make her "LOL"
via email around once/day on average. We work about 50 weeks/yr times
5 days/week = 250 days. 10 seconds per day = 2500 seconds = 41.6
minutes that my wife wasted instead of simply typing "LOL". That's
right, if she would only have been confident enough to say "Oh Mike,
LOL, love you!!!" she may have found the cure for ALL CANCERS.

Ah well. I guess that's why I'm writing this rant. Don't be afraid
of LOL. Embrace it. Don't overuse it, and please, PLEASE, teach the
over-users to LOL in moderation. Good night.