Who do I have to know?

How the hell can I get myself to pop up on a Google search? Of all people in the world, I should be able to pop up on a Google search within the first few pages. When I Google "Mike Pernecky", it's all about some imposter from California. Ok, so he's not an imposter, maybe I'm the imposter.

But either way, I'll bet he can't get chicks like I can!

Oh I've also attached a picture of Aubrey, my friend's cousin. Damn she's a hottie!